Sunday, 23 March 2014

lonely man

alone in the crowded road
alone in the cramped bus
alone in the stuffed canteen
alone in the bustling office
alone in the jammed train
alone alone alone

alone among the grouped tress
alone in the swinging party
alone in the prayer hall
alone in the noisy parks
alone in the busy shop
alone alone alone

does it bother?
does he care?
does he notice?
does it feel?
noone sees
a lonely man....

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

just coffee (2) :the road

My note: i have been meaning to write many short stories with the title just coffee.. so here is the second installment to it.. hope you like it (cross my fingers)

The only constant in my life seems to be coffee. My life till now has been like the rickety shack that is on the main road, surrounded by the buzz and hum of the on going traffic but still afar from all the hustle bustle, within it’s own private bubble. And such is a place i frequent to. I am a working girl in a different city almost every year  i have to shift my base. Do i mind? Not yet.. am i a loner? Not by choice! And my coffee?? Such a loyal friend.
I frequent a place just like the shack i mentioned. Middle of nowhere and everywhere. Its location is very convenient for me. Somewhere on way to work. Not the CCDsa nd Baristas, but a typical Indian Nescafe doodh marke with diabetic inducing levels of sugar. It went light on the pocket and its location, perfect. Like every tea and paan shop located in India this was run by a man being the namesakes of half of India , Ramu kaka. I was his favourite customer. Needless to say i was the only women visiting his shack on a regular basis and taking compous amount of coffee. Ramu kaka’s place was frequented by all types of people.. the “shehar wales” (city people) dropped in for some cigarettes, the drivers for paans, the passengers for chai, the kids for wafers and chocolate, the teenage girls for juice and the rich brats for mountain dews. You named it and ramu kaka had everything one needs when it comes to road trips. During the shaddi season you would see truck, bus, tempo loads of people in eye numbing glittering attires climbing down these oven hot boxes and pilled over ramu kaka. You could see whole of india just sitting in this blow away shack.
Ramu kaka is like all other ramu kakas in the world. Tanned dark with sun, a small man with flashing white smile and eyes that crinkle in the corners. He had a missing a lower tooth and if ever asked how he would fall into a different stories each time.I never knew which one was true or if all together had bits of truth in it. But he was a man of the world. Happy and content at this moment with a wife and 3 children all married. He had a lame dog too whom he had named Hitler.When i asked him does he know who he is. He simply shrugged and said someone told him it’s a german shepherd. And all he knew about Germany was Hitler. Yes, you might think that’s a bit estranged piece of information for someone named ramu kaka. But that is ramu kaka to you, a man full of tit bits.
I was an esteemed customer for ramu kaka. He had a special rickety stool set aside for me which seemed to come from baba adam's era. my orders were always taken first, tho i rarely had to even ask him. I was his only customer drinking coffee and he showed me off to any new regulars who would drop by. I loved sitting there in dirt and filth of the main road and watching cars pass by. It was like spa to me after a tiring day at office. With the warm cup cuddled in my hand all the memories floating up from it with every wiff of the sweet smell. Sometimes when it was a slow day ramu kaka would sit and ask me all sorts of questions. At times i had a book in my hand and he would want to know the whole story! He was inquisitive by nature.He was a father in a far off distant land to me.
My parents were dead against about my stopovers a ramukaka’s chai shop. The news they hear all day long about all kinds of heinous crimes. They are not to blame. Inspite all that i never left going to the place. Another regular was shakti ji.  Given to his herculean name he was nothing but it’s opposite. A man in his 50s with scanty grey hair, a hooked nose and bulging eyes. In the first look you would think he is the middleman of some smugglers ring passing up messages inconspicuously. But in reality he was a band member in barati.. Those who play loud instrumental versions of bollywood nos like munni badnam hui, sheela ki jawani (my knowledge lacks on tacky nos)  for the dulhe raja (groom) barat to dance to the doom of two people. He was a man with worries, a man you often see buying desi daru from a wine shop. Thankfully shaktiji had enough shakti to have come out of the alcoholic red zone. A man who played the trumpet and made music for happy people to become even more happier, himself suffered from deficiency of happiness. He had two daughters. One married and the other yet to marry. His fingers had rhuetism so he couldn’t play much of the trumpet without killing himself with pain. But yet he did and everyday he came back to ramu kaka a confider and friend ,his guardian angel. To his chai. Ramu kaka sympathised with him and nodded sadly at his worries.. about the dowries one must pay.about the inevitable evil that is society. But as he said  wisely“hum toh aam adami hai, humra kaam hai jhelna” ( we are the common man, its our duty to suffer)
As the days went by, shakti ji chattered about the upcoming marriage. Even after the mega shock he was about to receive financially for the marriage there was sunrays of happiness and hopefulness for his daughter. This cheered him up considerably and i wondered how easy is the heart. All was settled and set to go for the big wedding of shaktiji’s daughter and he politely invited me to the wedding, which flattered me to some extent. But there was one element missing in the marriage. It was the band baja. The “ladki wale” (bride’s party) are suppose to arrange for the band. And it so happened that shaktiji had no money left. The irony. No band for the daughter of the band wala. He was in pieces. The ijjat and even the marriage was at stake. Yes, they are so fragile. Confessing about his new found troubles to ramu kaka. Kaka silently contemplatively gave shakti ji some chai. His eyes watching me , watching him. Like he was looking for some approval. Then he suddenly leaves having a quick chat with his wife, who lived just behind the shack. He returned with some money apparently sufficient for the band and forced it into shakti ji’s hands. A reluctant shakti ji  accepted the money and promised to return it full aware of the uncertainty of the promise and the depth of gratitude.
Sadly, i had to shift my camp again and would not be able to make it to the wedding at the cost of humanity. I bid my farewell to my dear ramu kaka and left. A few months later i was passing by ramu kakas chai shop and thought of having that old sweet coffee once again and of course to chat up with ramu kaka. On my arrival i saw her wife recognise me and immediately make me a cup of coffee and clean up my stool. Even hitler came wagging his tail and sat by my feet looking longingly at the biscuits. I glanced questioningly at ramu kakas wife whom i always addressed as ramu kaki. She gave me a pained expression with watery eyes and i knew. Ramu kaka had caught the dengue. There was no money left after he offered his help to shakti ji and no hospital would take him. He was too proud to ask back for his money.

 He was now just a spec in the memories buried somewhere dusty in the minds of the many travellers he served. The chai shop witnessing an act of benevolence and generosity , of humanity against the stringent rules of society. In its own private bubble. Going unnoticed by the speeding cars. As the whole india past by it few knew the stories that makes human humane. Of so many stories of bravery we read this one finds it’s own niche. his fervent soul now inscrutable matter on earth.  My dear friend ramu kaka.. “aam admi such as you are never aam” ...

Friday, 10 January 2014

Why should chapattis be gol (circle) ??

Why indeed! Why cant they be some random shape... may be a country or a smashed face..or a bird flying or diamond shape.. that needs talent too! Why my question about chapattis??  Does it have a geometrical aspect to it, or an aesthetic one? Or just one of the many never-asked-never-answered questions?! Well, every Indian household with a daughter(s) when reaching to a certain age have to sign in into Indain-culinary classes (creating the perfect brides since time immemorable)... so without knowing you are made to prepare for questions like “sasural wale kya kahinge” which is a rhetorical question.. if “sasural wale” indeed ask something act dumb (as written in page 23 of “Q and A of sasural wale”)
Case 1
Sasural wale: Beta, do you know to make rotis?
Beta : uhmm, of course aunty.. good round fulka rotis..
Sasural : (she hesitated, too much information, probably a show off, definitely doesn’t know to make rotis) :stamps REJECTED on the photo:

Case2
Sasural wale: beta, do you know to make rotis?
Beta: :stares at the wall:
Beta’s ma: of course she does, makes rotis everyday..! almost like Ma Annarpurna has blessed her rotis!
Sasural: (thinks: good obedient girl, let elders ans,her mom is very truthful,no reasons for her to lie)  .. she is prrrrrreefect! :ties the mangal sutr around her neck herself:

But as soon as she presents her sasuralwale with a bird shaped roti, she would be probably handed divorce papers conjured right out from thin air.. would it matter if they are edible? NO! The roti needs to look good, even if it means to be crushed into a plum and dissolved into a sludge with more horrible looking acids...
Atlast everything comes down to looks..even a roti has to pass the judgmental eyes of people. Checking out its shape, colour, texture, contours.. you are damned to make pokemon rotis, its a 109% no no for the grey hairs, though will make you real famous with the kids! ;) and yes my roti shaping skills suck! Too free minded to make circular rotis (thats what i like to believe, i-got-roti-making-dyslexia)




long time no see??

Been almost a 3 month long absence from the last post which was a bit on the edge post. i didn't write a New Years post, which had become ritualistic. well, few reasons why someone takes a sabbatical from writing
1. writer's limbo
2. too lazy
3. too busy
4. many distractions (movies, serials, books, studies..huh? who said studies?! )
5. no sleep deprivation
6. too many incidents in lesser time span
and many more!
in my case it was all of the above! and i might add another one, i was keen on seeing the no. of pageveiws sans any posting... i was quite pleased with the no. i must say... tho i did worry that many were coming from some porn sites, and i am pretty much sure this blog hasn't any racy stuff.. but as the world rule goes by " numbers are all that matters" (giving maths the god like status!) explaining my abstinence (tho i really don't owe anyone any explanations) and the not-thought-before-experiment, i shall continue to devour your young fresh minds! *signs off with evil laugh*

Sunday, 22 September 2013

a letter

to the ever cruel hope,

me thinks it's not the diseases, not the epidemics, not the sadness, nor the greed which Pandora unleashed in the world by her stupid curiosity and disobedience than the evil disguised as good glittering and twinkling fairy which everyone likes to believe to be "HOPE"... the idea of hope is as virtual as the believe that you are what the mirror shows you... hope does as much goodness as much you find a Nazi helping a Jew.. its as pathetic as Indian belly swollen , greedy-oiled-paan-chewing politicians... hope is as cruel as listening to Justin Bieber and  Rebecca Black mash up with Miley Cyrus dancing over a destruction ball X 1000.... its as delusional as all the cosmetic product ads put together.... its as evil as the person who promises you to buy kulfi turns out that he is trying to kidnap you..

hope disgusts me now more than ever.. if you were a person i did probably hate you more than Voldermort. which is ALOT! you have poked me where i was sourest, you have mentally raped me when i was the weakest (i know inappropriate use, but nothing was more befitting)... i had sworn allegiance with you at a tender age no matter what may come.. but you.. you pushed me right off the cliff , while my back was turned to you.. such was your partnership?! you disgust me to the level where even pimpled toads seem a pretty site...

hope.... GAAAHHH!!! may you be locked in the boiling depths of tarturus and burn in inferno for a period unknown...

yours once-a-believer..

Monday, 16 September 2013

changing the turfs...

No, i am not totally abandoning this blog... the firsts are always too precious to be discarded may it be your disobedient spoilt first child, or your broken first love or your tattered first novel.. i will post as much as i always do on this blog... but just for the sakes of a pleasant change there is one more i have taken initiative to write.. herehttp://theboxtalks.wordpress.com/ may it be a good read... :)